Good Morning America

On March 22, 2010, Isabel Gillies was a guest to discuss Sandra Bullock and Jesse James’ infidelity scandal alongside Bethany Marshall, a therapist, being interviewed by Juju Chang.

*Edit for Isabel’s questions and answers only 

 Juju Chang: So why are so many people pondering this issue? Well joining us now is therapist Bethany Marshall and a woman who said she’s been through this herself and lived to write about it, Isabel Gillies, is an actress and author of infidelity memoir “Happens Every Day”. Thanks for joining us.

Isabel, you said with all the hurt, all the pain, the first instinct you had was to protect the kids. Clearly Sandra is co-parenting with her husband, how did you keep the kids about the fray?

Isabel Gillies: Well I mean it’s crushing and it’s so sad and very painful when it happens but you would have to think about it happening to the whole family and just an unfortunate thing happening to everyone and I think as sad as it is and as painful, the quickly you start to think about what can come next, how can we progress, how can we move on so that we can help the children, help our marriage- if the marriage is going to disintegrate how do we move forward in a positive way.

JC: Isabel, you said that you had no idea, that you didn’t see it coming either?

IG: No, I didn’t and I’m not sure if you are in the marriage with the kids in your life, your job, that you are really looking for anything other than what to feed them for breakfast.

JC: And you said out on book tour people would say to you “How could not have been known?” what do you say to the people?

IG: Lots of people are surprised that you don’t know but if I see a lot of people in these book groups and I say “Well does anybody think that their husband have cheated on them?” and everybody answers no. So I think it’s just sad and it’s important to look at both sides of the coin too, and trying to see the other person as a whole.

JC: Well Isabel, you talked about feelings of humiliation, I mean Sandra Bullock is going through this in front of the whole world, how do you cope with that?

IG: I think humiliation is a feeling in all the feelings that there are, it’s a complex situation and I think it’s important also when somebody does something socially unacceptable like an affair, the person whose had the affair happen to them can put a halo on and say “Oh well you did something really bad”. But I think it’s important for both partners to look at how they work together if you’re going to move forward, one person can’t be a devil and the other can’t be an angel.

JC: …Thank you both so much for being here Bethany and Isabel. Clearly the question would linger and continue.