Starry Night came into the world in a sort of round about way. I had written two memoirs previously. One was called HAPPENS EVERY DAY, and the other was called A YEAR AND SIX SECONDS. Now, let me just tell you that as a really dyslexic kid, the fact that I am even typing away right now about how I publish books is FREAKING CRAZY! I recently had an article in my favorite food magazine, Savuer, and I swear I must of read that little thing 600 times, tearing up like some lunatic. It’s just so weird to struggle mightily in school for years and years, then become an actor (who never wrote anything except for the address of the audition), and now seeing my thoughts, feelings and ideas in print?? Bizarre and wonderful. It just shows you that, A) you can always change the direction of your life, and B) You shouldn’t get a set idea of who you are or how things in your world are are done. There is usually a way to re-imagine something.
Anyway, a bunch of people read my first book, HAPPENS EVERY DAY, which was incredible to me, but I am so grateful that my story resonated with readers and could help them get through a rough time in their life – I’m just happy that so many seemed to like it. One of those readers was Joy Peskin, a YA editor. Joy got in touch with me and asked if I would consider writing a Happens-Every-Day-kind of book for young adults, but obviously it wouldn’t be a memoir, but a novel. I had been thinking about writing YA because I LOVE TEENAGERS! I loved being a teenager, I love teen movies (like every single John Hughes movie ever made), and I love seeing what teenagers are up to now. Plus I am about to have teenagers (my kids, who are tweens now, but growing at an alarming rate) in my very own house, so they are on my brain.
Joy and I met for lunch with my agent, Bill (I even remember what I had. It was this crazy sandwich Bill invented. It’s like a BLT gone wild with roasted corn and avocado and cheese all shoved in a toasted pita. It’s messy to eat, and that is always a little weird when you are lunching with someone you don’t know who may or may not be interested in working with you on a book! But I powered through and maybe that sandwich even gave me a little luck – so my advice there is always order what you want to eat and don’t worry how messy it is.)
We talked about what the book might be and then decided that I would write 90 pages and see how Joy liked it. I left the lunch filled with excitement that I had a project to sink my teeth into. I like nothing better than someone giving me an assignment – that is left over from being in high school.
I completed the work, handed it in, and soon after Joy said they would like to publish the book! If I am honest, the best feeling in the world is writing an entire manuscript and having someone buy it. That is what happened with my first book and that is a feeling that I treasure – because the work is done! There is editing of course, but you already put the hours and imagination and effort in, and then someone bought it. When someone buys your book when it’s only partially finished, believe me it’s an AWESOME feeling, but the work isn’t done so there is some anxiety to it. What if you can’t produce what they want? What if you actually stink as a writer? What if they made a mistake? What if your imagination breaks down? I’m not a huge fan of being paid for something that isn’t finished, but a lot of the time that is what happens. In the case of STARRY NIGHT, I wrote three 300+ word drafts until I finally got it right! It took me almost three years, and sometimes I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to do it. The getting it right and handing it in was a much better feeling than selling it. But, now that I am thinking it through, I am glad I had the experience of coming up with the goods. It’s scarier, it’s not as clean – it’s more of a challenge. And challenges are good. Challenges teach you everything
Isabel Gillies, a lifelong New Yorker and actress for many years, is the New York Times best selling author of Happens Every Day, A Year and Six Seconds and the upcoming Starry Night (FSG), a young adult novel about first love. Her work has been published in Vogue, The New York Times, Real Simple, Cosmopolitan and Saveur. She lives in Manhattan with her husband, kids and Maude the dog.
The Power of Love; August 14, 2014
As a teenager, wait, scrap that – on this very day I am a die-hard romantic. I’ve have loved thinking, watching movies, talking, and reading about love for as long as I can remember. The way people relate to each other romantically is maybe the most interesting part of being human – and I don’t think I’m alone in that thinking. Just yesterday, I was listening to a podcast where Dr. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist, was discussing the science of love. It was fascinating and, not only do I want to read her book immediately, but this woman’s work, in a single TED talk justified my own interest in love. If there is science behind something, it’s legit, correct? Can’t shake a oh-you-are-just-a-hopeless-romantic stick at science. Very basically, as I understand it, what Dr. Fisher said was; millions and millions of years ago when our species started to walk upright, and we no longer could carry offspring on our backs, we were forced to use our arms to hold the babies and do everything else. The evolutionary leap of going from four feet on the ground to two, resulted in us needing partners. Our brains developed accordingly, so now we have intricate galaxies of neurons, hormones and connectors that make the anthropological need for romantic love, neurologically possible. There are parts of the brain that deal with first love, parts that deal with long term love and parts that deal with the end of love. It’s science and it’s powerful. Romance is legit.
If someone asked me, “If you had to write about one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?” I would say love. Love changes people’s mind, it makes them travel, and sweat and act impulsively. It makes people generous or selfish, nutty, brave, stilted, mean, exuberant, childish, frantic, quiet. Love makes people learn languages they don’t already know. Love causes wars and makes us have babies. Love ruins people and makes people. Love alters our heartbeat – it’s power changes the chemistry in our bodies. Sometimes I think love is the only thing on people’s minds. Yes, people have jobs, but if they are in love, they may leave work early to be with the person they are in love with and get fired for it. People look different when they are in love. When people lose love it hurts them in the same way as if they had been cut with a blade. Love moves people. It’s our fuel. We need it like we need food and water. Man, I love writing about love.
I mean is there anything better than a good love story? I’ll never forget reading Persuasion by Jane Austin. Have you read it – or even seen the movie (which is fabulous)? I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s generally about a young woman who falls in love with a man that her family doesn’t approve of and they persuade her not to marry him, even though he loves her truly and deeply, but he doesn’t have enough MONEY. Oh my goodness, what one goes through emotionally when you read that book! You gasp, get anxiety, hope so badly that it all turns out alright. I remember clutching the book in my hands and almost squealing aloud with excitement as the book drew to it’s close. Romance, even heart breaking romance is pleasure and makes me feel alive, but maybe most importantly, it’s relatable. We humans were built to love and we know a lot about it, even really young people. Think about it, even as kids we create love stories in our imaginations, “What if he/she is at the ice cream store? What if he/she spoke to me? What if we went on a walk together? What if he/she gave me a kiss?” Just that right there is the start to a pretty good story that I might like to follow. Love takes you, almost always, on the greatest of adventures.
I have a hunch that the more you write about love, and the older you get, the more fun you have with the subject. Starry Night is my first novel about love, but I hope it’s not my last. There are infinite love stories out there to be told. Thank goodness.
Getting the Feelings Out; August 21, 2014
Wow do I not like writing about writing! I have been sitting here in front of this screen for a long time, and on and off for a week trying to figure out what I am going to say in this blog post about writing. So now I am giving in to a confessional and just putting it out there that writing or giving advice or shedding light on the process of writing freaks me out.
There are many reasons why I don’t feel great about banging on about how I write or how to write. A) I am untrained as a writer. No degrees hanging on my wall from Iowa or Columbia. The last good writing class I took was in high school. B) I am dyslexic, so as a kid I never dreamed I would be a writer, so I can’t say, “I always wanted to be a writer,” because it would be far from the truth. And C), my writing is definitely imperfect and I know that, so who am I to be an authority.
What I will say is that I strive to write from my heart. Yuck! Do you see how lofty and silly that sounds? I really don’t mean to sound holier than thou – I want to say, that in my case, I don’t think I am a technically beautiful writer, but what interests me is getting the feelings out in any way I can. I don’t spend hours or months finding the perfect word. I spell badly. I compose endless run-on sentences. I probably make huge mistakes because I don’t know the rules. But I am a writer — I love it, I think about it constantly and I write every day. When writing is going well for me, it’s almost like I am throwing up. I don’t know what I am doing until I am done. It’s thoughtless, and ideally free enough so that emotion comes out and on to the page. I can feel it in my body when I am writing well. It feels a lot like acting, or painting. It’s the same feeling as being on a roller coaster, or losing yourself in a song on the radio. It’s being in a zone. I’ve tried to explain this feeling to my husband and he said he thinks he used to feel the same way when he was rocking a math problem. It was like he was on auto-pilot and some other force was powering him through the steps, and he could feel, not know, but feel he was going to get the problem right. After I am in this zone however, I always have to go back and back and back to make what I have said clear and correct. Editing is very important and definitely doesn’t feel like being on a roller coaster.
I write in bed and I know that is a no-no. First of all it’s terrible for my back and posture, but really, doesn’t it just feel wrong to work in bed? Something’s very lazy sounding about it. I think ideally one is supposed to write standing up, or certainly sitting at a desk in a good, sturdy chair. I didn’t mean to write in bed. It started because one freezing day in mid-winter, I was working on Starry Night at a desk in our bedroom. I got so cold (to the point of distraction), I decided to get in bed to warm up, and that was that. I must have written four chapters that day. I am writing in bed at this very moment and if I had better internet reception I would take a selfie and post it with this.
Most would say don’t write if you don’t have anything to say, but doesn’t everyone have something to say? Hum.
Lots of times writing first thing in the morning is a great idea, but I don’t often get it because I have school aged kiddos. I don’t like writing after 4pm if I can help it, and I really can’t write in the night, because I am too sleepy. I have thought of good ideas for books or articles in the middle of the night, but have forgotten them by the morning. I probably should keep a pencil and pad on my night-side table, as so many smart people do.
Even though I hate to say this (because I used to be made very anxious by reading), I think reading and loving a book will help you with writing. But don’t sweat it if reading doesn’t come easily to you yet, it probably will one day if you stick with it. I didn’t like reading until I was in my twenties, and now I love it.
I hope the more I write, the better I’ll get at it. I don’t think I will ever spell well, but I might be able to become a better technical writer. Stephen King said if you are going to write you have to write every day and I believe that one hundred percent. The next time I write a novel I will definitely do it in another way. I learned a lot writing Starry Night and there are certain roads that I simply won’t go down again, and new ones I will try out. It will be a different process, it will probably be in bed, and I can’t wait to start.
Swoon Reads (now Fierce Reads)
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